HABIT BUILDING

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Habits make up our lifestyles, they are what we are known for/by and part of what makes us unique therefore changing or building new habits can be very challenging and time consuming. It is undoubtedly necessary though to try new things once in a while so as to continuously improve the general quality of our lives. 

There are a couple of steps I have researched on, tweaked and adopted that have been beneficial so I thought I will share it.

1. TAKE BABY STEPS

More often than not, when we want to start or change something we tend to do it all at once and expect instant results but that is hardly successful in the long run. A relatively slow process is not only advisable when you start but also before you do. 

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a. You have to research on the new habit you want to adopt or what you can do as you drop a habit of yours. For instance, you want to be a vegan or vegetarian or start healthy eating. Instead of jumping right into eating all and any kind of non-diary items and vegetables, take time to research on what you want and settle on what suits you in terms of financial budget (what you can afford), time schedule (a busy schedule will need meals that can sustain you for longer hours unless short breaks in between are possible), body type (allergies, medication for sicknesses) and so on. On the other hand, you want to stop clubbing or attending parties every weekend. Find out what activities you can do during the weekend such as visiting friends (since staying at home will be such a huge difference), attending only special events like a birthday party, baby shower, graduation party, engagement, wedding, baby christening of a close friend or relative, doing things you hardly have time for like laundry, cooking and so on. 

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b. Understanding yourself and what is limiting you. Figure out why you have that bad habit. For instance, you tend to forget you have something to do or procrastinate about it. Maybe you do a lot of things at once so you forget some other things and then when you remember you push to do it some other time. In this case, using journals or setting a reminder/alarm can help. Another example is, you are an alcoholic. Maybe you started due to some disappointments you got or it is your way of forgetting your problems or you do so because your social life is non-existent. You cannot stop until you find out what the cause is and a better way to solve it. 

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c. Now when you actually indulge in the new habit change, you want to take it one step at a time. Maybe you have a role model or mentor in this regard, you cannot be like them overnight and expect to stay that way. They started somewhere and grew to that level and so should you. Take for instance, an individual who wants to start a regular excessing habit for a long period of time. It is essential to start small. Either start with exercising in the comfort of your home or take a run in your neighbourhood then you graduate to the gym levels or you can still start at the gym with the less heavy weights or dumbbells, tiresome exercises and demanding machines then you gradually improve. After all, if you start big and hurt yourself, you might not continue with it.

2. BE MOTIVATED & SUPPORTED

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Intrinsic motivation and extrinsic support have a huge impact on the realization of adopting or changing a habit. Before you can fruitfully effect a change, a more permanent one, you should be motivated by yourself to do so. You should be able to tell yourself to do it and why you have to; not only that but you should do it. Relying on yourself as a prime source of inspiration is key. It doesn’t mean you do not need the help of others. You do need them to support you. Whiles you are encouraging yourself, they are assisting that encouragement and giving it a stronger hold, making it firmer. You should know the number one reason why you want to start eating healthy, why you want to stop drinking, why you want to stop clubbing, why you want to start exercising and it shouldn’t be because someone calls you fat or your wife is complaining or people are mocking you. It should be because you want to be healthy, you want to curb your spending, you want self-confidence, you want to improve your life then your support can come from your wife or friend or relative who sincerely wants the best for you. The second motivation can be that you want people to stop calling you names. 

3. BE CONSIDERATE

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Mistakes are inevitable, nobody is perfect but repeating the mistakes is not an option. You have to be understanding but not overly so. When you flout your schedule or goal, you shouldn’t beat yourself up about it. Be thoughtful, reflect on how and why it happened then continue on with more zeal. Over criticism isn’t necessary as it can be demoralising. The fact that it is from you, doesn’t mean it will have a lesser effect. You know yourself better than anyone so this should be quite easy but it has to be effective because you do not want to continuously overlook some mistakes that are not acceptable but rather forgive yourself when you have a setback. It shouldn’t be that you assure yourself that a regular mistake is okay. Include being accountable for yourself here. 

4. CREATE A SCHEDULE

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Generating a new schedule which accommodates the changes you aspire to make in relation to your habits is another tool that sustains you for the long term. For instance, when you want to exercise before going to work and there is not enough tine, you can wake up earlier or if that is not possible you can do that after work. A schedule eventually becomes part of you so much so that you go according to it without realising and this is what a habit change demands because sometimes when you are conscious of what you are doing and you are low on motivation, it becomes a struggle. At times, we do not do things because we do not have time on our schedule for them. Scheduling to read for an hour before bed, spend time with family during weekends, take a nap in the middle of the day will form a habit.

5. SET GOALS

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Goals are targets to ensure that we achieve what we have to. Setting defined goals is always the best, that is, they have to be explicit, assessable, feasible, ideal and opportune. Since this is such a demanding exercise, a goal will keep you on your toes and not make you slack behind. Setting goals according to the aforementioned characteristics ensures that you are not overwhelmed by everything happening during the process of change. Deadlines sound harsher and fast paced than goals though they have the same meaning but then you can call it setting deadlines as well. An example is setting a goal to run 45 minutes on weekdays and 1 hour on weekends when you wake up at 6am and have a regular 9-5 job. 

6. HAVE A BACKUP PLAN

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No one desires to fail but having a backup plan doesn’t mean you will, it only assures you of continuity and success. When you encounter a problem with your initial plan, you just fall on the backup plan, continue on with it and eventually succeed. There is no wait to re-strategize which might eventually lead to not completing the cause you embarked on. For instance, when starting the vegan journey, if you cannot cook due to one or two level-headed reasons then opt for food from a restaurant that serves such meals instead of going for regular food or starving yourself. A restaurant that serves such meals is something you should have researched on already (Step 1, point a).

NB: Doing your research, being motivated & supported, creating a schedule, setting goals, having a back plan implies having some level of commitment. 

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Thank You for Reading & All The Best!!!