LETTING GO OF EXES (SERIES) - PHASE 4
It is sometimes difficult to accept and act on the facts of life. We all hear how it is important to move on and let go when a relationship ends especially on a bad note but when we find ourselves in that specific situation, it becomes nearly impossible to do. The thought that it is for the best can be a bit far-fetched. You should keep in mind though that the relevance lies in ensuring you do it effectively and not how fast or easy it was for you.
The beauty of life is appreciated when we allow fate to take its course and not try our hardest to make events or situations go our way. This is very important to practice particularly when you lose someone who you have shared so much with; both in feelings, thoughts and experiences.
The way a relationship starts is not the same after a while neither is it in the same state when it ends; it progresses (or retrogresses).
The big question here is what do you do after accepting it was never meant to be, as you live with it and when you have picked up life lessons from the previous relationship?
4. ASPIRING FOR CHANGE
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Oddly enough change is a consistency of life. Many people shun away from it when things are ‘perfect’ so to speak but have we thought of the fact that change is progress? That things will not get better without change? That we cannot grow without changing?
It is true that at a point in our lives things feel ‘perfect’ but there is always room for improvement. With respect to past relationships, it is when you desire a better you, a better partner, a better relationship and not restricting yourself from future experiences. The latter is very powerful though.
We have to realize that there was a reason why the relationship ended and no matter how rosy things were we should not want a repetition of it; we should pin after something better, a better partner no matter how ‘perfect’ he/she was, a better you no matter how amazing you were in the past relationship.
Another thing is you should not prevent yourself from enjoying the future. Do not tune your mind to not dating, do not position your heart to not loving, do not unfriend the opposite sex out of fear of developing feelings for the person. Do not go into specifics. For instance, you will not date a dark/rich/tall guy because your ex is dark/rich/tall and at the same time do not ‘plan’ to get involved with only a certain type of person because that is what you like, who knows, you might be destined to be with a person completely opposite from what your ‘list’ depicts.
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A stage where you are craving for a new and better relationship (not a type very much similar to the former one) signifies a point where your ex or past relationship does not negatively affect you and your dealings. This does not mean if you both were funs of beach outings, you will want a private pool date in the new relationship. It has to do with thinking and understanding that there is someone much better for you, someone who will make all these outings, dates, situations and activities more exciting and fulfilling.
I am not saying he/she was not good because we all have some pretty awesome individual qualities but then you should want something superior, someone meant for you; your fate. If I am right, then it should not be a crime.
To conclude, think about the times when things in your life took a 360 degrees turn and became great then use that memory to fuel your passion for an enhanced and healthier love life.
Question: Between an ex who finds another partner shortly after the breakup and an ex who still has feelings for you but cannot be with you for one reason or the other (trivial or significant), which one makes it easier to move on? Which one makes living bearable? Which one is difficult to conceptualize? (Comment on your thoughts regarding this).
This is the fourth phase and an indispensable one also so do it and do it right. Watch out for the blog post next week which will contain information on the fifth and sadly LAST phase. If you have anything to say such as a suggestion or constructive criticism or experience or opinion, then comment on this post but if it is private or personal contact me on Instagram @cee_jay_lynn and I will get back to you.
Thank You for Reading and Good Luck!!!!
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